Difficult Conversations – How to Make Hard Decisions

I was reviewing some coaching notes and realized I’ve been working with one client for three or four sessions around one particular topic. It was about having some difficult conversations with one of his team members.

And how do you do with those?

One of this gentleman’s team members had not been performing and he didn’t want to have this difficult conversation. I noticed this topic had taken up an inordinate amount of mental space and stress for my client. Eventually, they had a conversation. My client was well prepared for it. There was a proposal, and ultimately the team member decided to leave. Problem solved.

In our next session together, my client joined the conversation and said, ‘Oh, wow. I feel such relief. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders’. I have to say, in all the coaching I’ve done and all the books I’ve read, that seems to be kind of that mythical, ‘oh, the weight has been lifted’.

The weight of the world was lifted!

I don’t think it ever heard it out loud for the first time, but it was clear in his face, in his demeanor, in his conversation with me that he was now different. We use this one example today of a difficult decision about someone who needed to be off the team.  It could apply in a lot of spaces. What are we hanging onto? What do we not want to have difficult conversations about with ourselves, with our family, with our spouse, with our dog or goldfish or with a team member? Does it need to be a product that we shouldn’t make anymore? Should it be a relationship I need to be away from? Should it be a spouse that I need to really engage with more because I’m allowing other things to distract me? What’s my priority? What’s a difficult conversation or difficult decision that you need to make? Think about it

What difficult conversations do you need to have?

In some cases, the weight of the world will be lifted when you make it and you’ll look back into the rear view mirror and say, wow, I wish I’d done it sooner. We’ve all done it. We’ve all hung on to things. We’ve all got collections of stuff in our homes, our garages, or heaven forbid, three or four storage units that if we just got rid of, then maybe the weight would be lifted from us.

What’s your challenge? What are you looking to do? For my client, he needed a coach to be able to help him walk through all of the stuff that was going on for him and how he needed to think and rethink about the decisions he was making. Maybe that’s true for you as well. A shift in perspective might help.

I’d love for you to connect hit us in the comments below about what your experience has been like when you make that difficult decision and what kind of change it has brought for you. It’s encouraging. It’s a great thing to do. Making sure that we’re making the change that we need to make as we move forward, the things that need to be left behind, the things that we need to add on, and the choices that we make in the middle of it.

Decide something today.

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